Note: This was partly written last night.
Husband and I are currently sitting in our living room. He’s watching “The Office” reruns and I’m drinking a glass of wine. We’re giggling and making small talk. Earlier, he smoked boudin on the grill and I sat on our back porch finishing up a really juicy read. In a few minutes, we’ll go to bed, snuggle up and go to sleep. This is the norm for the hubby and I, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Over the years I’ve come to adore the simplicity of our relationship. Where I thrive on thrills and adventures,this is my calm. I am constantly going, going, going and rarely breathing. Husband is where I’ve found a place to rest and take a breath. When it comes to life, I’m all about the butterflies and the excitement and the nonstop fun. As an ENFP personality type, that’s just who I am. I love the big stuff and have just gotten to a point where I can enjoy the little things too. But it’s always been different with Robby. The dude proposed to me in our laundry room. (Our first long make-out session was in a laundry room.) Our wedding, though beautiful, was never something I was really concerned about planning at nineteen and twenty years old. We kind of forgot to have a housewarming party when we purchased our first home. The moments that many couples expect and plan for years are the ones that have come and gone pleasantly but, by choice, more quietly for us.
Where the dude and I have always shone is within our smaller moments. I’ve had my fill of the big-drama-filled-tear-inducing-butterflies-like-crazy love stuff and it really wasn’t my cup of tea. With Robby, the butterflies are there but they don’t hurt my tummy so much. Our “drama” doesn’t go past silly quarrels that are over as quickly as they start. I’ve learned to seek out my high intensities and rushes from life and living it, and to find peace and comfort in the romance I have with my hubby. Five minute phone calls throughout the day. His admitting to having a nightmare and scooting closer to me in the middle of the night. Christmas morning with his family and Easter evening with mine. Chuckling at something silly our dogs or my brother recently did. Me falling asleep on the couch and him gently nudging me awake, plugging in my phone and bringing a glass of water to the dresser nearest my bed. Our inability to not act like children while on vacations together. One of us doing something sappy and the other smiling and saying, “You are soooo in love with me.” Putting our feet together and saying “Foot sex!” Jokes that only we understand the punch line to. Saying sweet nothings in each others ear, except instead of mushy words, literally saying “Sweet nothings.” And then giggling. Every-time. Our enormous collection of “Remember whens.” and the laughter that accompanies these.
In previous years, I’d often pick fights in hopes of intensifying our relationship. I more often than not found that I was fighting by myself. Robby was just not what I was used to. I was used to relationships being a forlorn bundle of sad emotions. He was sweet and gentle and patient and understanding. He still is. What’s changed is that this is now what I crave. Cuddles and surprise kisses and late night movies and strolling through new cities hand-in-hand. His listening ear and welcoming smile. The moments after the wedding and before the babies. Those moments that many plan for years and anticipate for lifetimes…..Well, I’m glad to have had some and look forward to others. But what I’ve come to love and cherish the most are all of our moments in between.