Category Archives: love

Good Lookin’ Numbers

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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Some Good Lookin’ Numbers (Mixed with pictures of past few days):

1.$3,000 direct deposited for tax return today.

2. 1 month until my play. I go to rehearsals exhausted and somehow leave feeling excited and glowing. I’ve missed acting.

3. Eight days until hubby and I are in San Diego.

4. 10/10 on my first Mass Media History and Theory exam. I was happy about it but didn’t think too much of this grade until Monday. Professor announced something like, “So I think only one other person has ever made a perfect grade in my class. But one of your classmates made a 100% on this exam….”  It took a second for me to register and when I did I gave a little gasp/clap without thinking. He meant me! Professor then smiled and pointed my way. “You obviously all know who that is now…” Class then gave me a round of applause. Embarrassingly proud moment in my life.

5. Almost 4,000 views (In just a few weeks!) on the video a couple of girly friends and I made, Shit Girls Say (To Make Themselves Feel Better.)

6. One really sexy husband.

Here’s to the good stuff.

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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Favorite moments this week:

(Collage by my lovely friend Becca)

  • Becca buying me food/happy hour and Tessa, later that night, buying me drinks downtown. I have super sweet friends who thankfully don’t let me use, “I’m broke” as an excuse to not hang out with them.
  • Speaking of Becca. In our shared religious course, she mistook the word “incense” for “incest” during lecture. Thus, instead of hearing  “All kinds of incense” in the church, she heard “All kinds of incest” in the church. Add the fact that my professor seemed really excited about this fact and Becca’s initial look of confusion and disgust, we ended up giggling uncontrollably for approximately five minutes in the back of the classroom.
  • New neighbors close to hubby and my age. They were outside today when I started my run and invited us over for “Beer and video games” sometime. Hubby may have found his neighborhood soul mates.
  • Receiving a really sweet secondhand compliment. Best friend Tessa informed me that our mutual buddy Brooks told her that there was just something about me that others are drawn to. Made me smile. It’s always good to know that people are talking good about you behind your back.
  • Going out with my best girly friend, a dude friend I haven’t seen in years and a new dude friend last night.
  • Funny/awkward moment of the night:I mentioned to new friend Scott that I was taller than him. He didn’t like this comment and set out to prove me wrong. We came across a group of women who I believe were celebrating a bachelorette party. Scott promptly asked who was taller. The consensus was that he was taller but that I was way hotter. Before walking off, one lady (or maybe it was two?) told new friend Scott, “She’s fine. You better treat her right.”  Err. They thought new friend Scott was my lover Scott. After said amusingly awkward conversation, new friend Scott went around to other groups asking not who was taller, but who was hotter. I definitely won. Hee.
  • Dancing on stage at a dueling piano bar. Though I have no dancing abilities whatsoever and I was still much too sober to be dancing on a stage, I had a blast.
  • Best dude friend Bryant messaging me pictures of our mutual girl crush, Selena Gomez. (No, We’re not quite pedophiles. She’s 19! And he started it.)
  • Upcoming fun weekend plans with my amazing hubby and wonderful friends.
  • I’m going to San Diego in two weeks!
  • So. Here’s to free happy hours, girl crushes, dancing on stages, upcoming vacations, being the hotter partner of a fake couple, new friends, old friends, the bestest of girl friends and all of the other good stuff, lovely moments and exciting adventures in between. Cheers,y’all!

“Super Saiyan, Jedi Sh*t.”

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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I’ve had a really special, heart-warming, magical Valentine’s Day. I hope you did too!

My V-Day review:

Elijah, the four-year old dude I nanny, gave me a Star War’s Valentine. His handwriting is the sweetest.

Becca brought rose-shaped mini brownies to class for her and I to share. Delicious and pretty. I always love her treats.

I came home to Starbuck’s coffee and beautiful flowers from the hubby.

And then there were the date nights. I got three. (So far.)

Date night #1:

Husband and I went to see ‘The Vow.’  I’m not a huge movie person, and I’m especially not a huge mushy-gushy, romance movie person. But the moment I saw the commercial I told Robby we were going to see it for Valentine’s Day. I just knew I’d love it. And I did. Cheesy? Yes. But incredible cheese. I cried. Husband handed me a tissue. When his pizza came, he whispered to me, “I’ll share my pizza with you.”  Romance at it’s finest, y’all. And as we were driving home, the dude put the biggest smile on my face. If you’ve seen the commercials, you know Rachel McAdam’s character loses her memory due to a car crash. Channing Tatum’s character is the hubby trying to help her regain said lost memory. Driving back to the house, Robby informed me, “If that happened to you, you wouldn’t forget me.”  I think I laughed and asked why,or maybe he just rambled on by himself. “You couldn’t ever forget me. Our love is like…Super Saiyan, Jedi Shit.”  This is Robby combining Star Wars and Anime expressions to express his feelings about our relationship. My heart melted.

Date night #2:

Olive Garden. This is a sentimental restaurant for us because our first ever date was at an Olive Garden. (Before we went to shoot guns. Husband deserves a prize for best first date. Minus the first date awkwardness and jitters, it was perfect.) And chain restaurant as it may be, it’s among my favorite places to dine. It could be the nostalgia for our first date, but I think it maybe has more to do with the endless bread-sticks and chicken dumpling soup. Call me a romantic.

Date night #3:

Robby and I had an outdoorsy date planned for tonight, but I got back from my play rehearsal late and am pretty exhausted. We postponed planned third date for this weekend (Excited!) and headed to our local Sonic and bought Limeades instead. Once we got home, vodka was added to said Limeades. I currently feel like a rebellious teenager.

And now I get four dates in one week with my Super Saiyan, Jedi lover.

I’m a lucky, spoiled and right now slightly tipsy girl.

In case of a city wide blackout, I’m your girl.

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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A couple of weeks back, a guy friend of mine posted this on my facebook:

“Your effing neverending happiness could power New York City for 24 whole hours in the event of a blackout.”

I’m not sure how I was supposed to take this, but I was both tickled and pleased. I love that friends know all too well and can tease me about my freakish amounts of joy. It’s something I’m proud of, because I feel I choose it. To be happy. To see the good over the bad. To love the rain. To plan trips when broke, knowing the memories will one day compensate for said brokeness. To take a long run when I’m feeling extra stressed. To catch some of the silly things I fuss about–A bad hair day, too much homework, a messy house–and know that this is what others would kill to complain about. To be thankful for my youth, knowing it’ll probably go by faster than I want it to. To laugh as much as possible. To focus on the little details that make life spectacular: The smell of a new book, Hour long talks with girl friends, Hot showers, Pretty skies, The first sip of my glass of merlot, The taste of a fresh-baked, Husband-made cookie, Holding hands with someone I love, The candy a friend brings me to class, Hearing my dog snoring, Long kisses, Sweet words, Random treats, The gift cards left over from Christmas that support date night on a really,really,really tight budget. It’s things like this that give me the potential to power New York City in the event of a black-out. (Ha-ha.)

At the same time, I won’t lie and say that the extra goodness life throws my way doesn’t maybe help out said happiness. This weekend for example. Chilling downtown and cruising in a Hummer limo with my best friend and other cool peeps. Neat, unforgettable experiences like this may indeed aid in some extra boosts of happy power. Ahem:Not to mention, the calmer joy of catching up with loved ones I haven’t seen in much too long…. 

I definitely have my occasional grumpy days. My sad days. My mad days. But more than all of these combined, I have good days. Great days. Loved,bright, wonderful days. And the bad days I do have are me being blessed and spoiled enough to complain about my silly first world problems. The fact is, life is good, and I’d be stupid not to choose happiness. I know that my positive feelings probably never will be enough to power any sort of city in case of black-out, but that’s okay. Right now, I’m watching the sun set from my window and I’m about to go get all fancied up for gift-card date night with the husband. And I couldn’t be happier.

The beauty of being a grown-up

Posted on by Christina Does It All
21

Life has been getting hectic again lately. A happy hectic, but still hectic. School is back in full swing, my hours at work have gone up since last semester, and lots of fun plans,projects and adventures are already in the works for this year. Husband and I are planning a vacation for somewhere between our two birthdays (February and March), my friend Becca and I are planning a trip for May (We just made it final by virtually pinky promising) and I’m introducing husband to a slew of northern states while simultaneously visiting my best friend sometime in July. That’s three vacations in 6 months time! My friends love to tease me and inform me that I’m always going on a new vacation, but I can’t help it. I get major ants in my pants after three or more months of no traveling. I’m going on a little over three months now, and the antsy-ness has officially arrived. So I’m excited, super excited, but also a bit overwhelmed trying to get finances together while also readjusting myself to a busy day-to-day schedule. Luckily, I have a lot of lovelies in my life who melt away any little bit of stress I may have.

There is not much I adore more in this world than time with my girls. They are a constant source of inspiration, laughter, love, relaxation and joy. This past weekend was no exception. I was able to see a few of my favorite ladies for four days straight. Hot-tubbing and a sleepover at Jenn’s place. Sharing a bed with and cuddling up to my best friend Tessa, who also was sweet enough to buy me brunch the next day. (Cuddling and free food the next morning? Wouldn’t she make a perfect boyfriend?) Listening to live music, strolling through quaint book-stores and making fun of ugly ducks at the park with Melody and, again, my best friend Tessa. Drinks and giggles with Brooke and Emily for happy hour. A pizza buffet and retail therapy with my Little (of Big Brothers Big Sisters), who is growing up too fast and doing so quite gracefully. What I’m getting at is….Oh thank goodness for the ladies in my life. Sometimes I just break into smile thinking about them, our memories and how lucky I am to have stumbled across some of the most amazing chicks on the planet. How cool is it that I get to journey through life and explore the world with the greatest girls in the world?

Pictures help the words come to life: 

Tessa and I were talking on Sunday, and I mentioned that I’ve always liked being an adult better than I liked being a kid. I had a really sheltered childhood, and I’ve always loved and have been completely exhilarated by the freedom of adulthood. Later that same day, my best friend wrapped my thoughts up perfectly by saying something like, “We can do whatever we want. We can do anything.” That,in a nutshell, is exactly what I find absolutely spectacular about being a grown-up.The excitement of making new experiences, meeting new people and doing these things whenever I want to. The beauty and wonder and spontaneity of endless possibilities. The fact that I get to explore these endless possibilities with amazing people by my side just makes life that much more beautiful.

Happy,Happy,Happy.

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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The past few weeks have been near perfect. I just feel so alive and young and loved and ready for anything and everything. I’ve been kind of permanently excited lately, and sometimes for no particular reason. I guess it’s just because I’m living. Because I can use all my senses. Because I have the ability to walk and talk and breathe and love. It’s a beautiful thing, no?

Some happy pieces lately:

  • All red and pink in my package of Dots! If that isn’t a reason for excitement, I don’t know what is.
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  • School started up again this week. I really love my classes this semester. Probably me favorite is ‘Theatrical Performance.’ It’s just started and already I’m falling in love. Though yesterday was a little strange. We were practicing relaxing and focusing, a couple of qualities which obviously help on stage. To practice these things, we partnered up and practiced moving each other’s limbs around. Head, legs, arms, the works. I thought I was relaxed, but my partner kept shaking my body parts and telling me to, “Let go.” I apparently do not know how to let go. Control freak problems. The instructor noticed this and used me as one of the guinea pigs next time around. Next thing I know, five people are moving around different parts of my body, whilst I lay on the ground giggling nervously. I kept my limb-movers laughing and amused by saying things such as, “Watch out for the stubble.” and “I think this is the most awkward moment of my life.”, but I never did learn how to be totally limp and trusting. Maybe next time I find my body being simultaneously maneuvered around in odd places by five almost (albeit kind) strangers, I’ll be better. Practice makes perfect!
  • My friend Becca has just started training at the Cheesecake Factory. Yesterday, being the wonderful and thoughtful person that she is, she brought me a box full of yumminess to class.
As I opened my take-out box of goodness, she took the time to write me out a menu. It read:
“The grilled chicken is ‘skinnylicious BBQ chicken’
And the crusted one is Idk
And the pasta is tomato basil pasta with cheese.”
The crusted one, whatever the hell that was, was my favorite.
  • During my week, I have about a 35 minute break between work and school. Instead of lounging or eating, I’ve started to take this time to work out at my school gym. I’ve been running on the treadmill and have started lifting light weights (A New Years resolution!) I’m also doing ab work-outs three times a week and am starting to see traces of a 4-pack.  I’ve cut out all fast food (even my beloved Chipolte) and soda from my diet. I feel awesome and constantly energized and I’m currently in the best shape of my life. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long!
  • Tuesdays and Thursdays are my long days. I leave for work at 8:45 and don’t get back home from school until around 7:30. Last night I came home,exhausted, to the aroma of a home-cooked dinner. Hubby had made me chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and homemade gravy. Later, he made chocolate chip cookies. I put the picture of him slaving away in the kitchen up on my facebook. A couple of my favorite comments:

Girl Friend: “What a sweet ol’ house husband.”

Dude Friend:  “Look at that piece of meat! Also the steaks look pretty good…”

  • My best girl friend has been begging me to get a Twitter for some time now. I usually just blatantly ignore her requests. I am extremely slow and hesitant when it comes to being comfortable with different social networking devices. It took me a good year, maybe even two, to transfer over to Facebook after everyone else had.  The same best friend finally convinced me, and even helped me register and uploaded most of my pictures to Facebook. I still didn’t use it until almost everybody had left Myspace. Even knowing how stubborn and reluctant I am, Meggie is quite persistent. She asks me or tells me about once a week to get a Twitter. Last night, she resorted to bribery. I said something on a blog comment that she found quotable (“I’m sure if men ever ‘fixed’ women, they’d be quite bored anyway.”) and then she informed me, “I’m quoting you, Tina. But I’m doing it on Twitter so….you should get one.” Sigh. I’m still not convinced. But she is slowly but surely wearing me down.
  • I mentioned last week that I was a promotional model for an event in San Antonio. I also mentioned how completely amazing the people I met were. I miss them so much already. Morgan, one of the girls that I miss dearly, left a comment on the rest of our little group’s facebooks that wrapped up our time together pretty perfectly :, “Sooo yeah I already miss yall so much. I miss our long hours of goofing off, eating lollipops, changing our hair every hour, singing, taking as many breaks as we can to walk around, and long talks about boys. Let’s PLEASE reunite soooon. Y’all are so great :) “   I never went to summer camp as a child, but from watching movies and stuff, I feel like these are the kind of bonds that I missed out on back then.
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  • While I was working this event in San Antonio, I came upon an older man with the last name, ”Wagemaker.” How neat is that?! I informed him that I loved his last name and he informed me that if I was a bit older I could have married him and had that last name too. Christina Wagemaker. I like. But Christina Boudreaux is pretty nice too, I suppose.
  • I made a video blog! It’s been too long. Unfortunately, my computer is having all kinds of technical difficulties. The colors are very off and at the end my voice distorts to sound like one of those creepy phone callers from horror movies. I’m trying to work through kinks because a couple of girl friends and I are about to start a project with said web cam. Thought I’d might as well show y’all what I came up with:
  • One more class until my weekend begins! I have lots of lovely plans with buddies this weekend, including exploring and hot-tubs. All the more reason to be excited and happy.

Warning: Mushy-gushy, Lovey-dovey, Hubby-wubby stuff.

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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I usually try my best to keep from writing about the mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey, hubby-wubby stuff. For the most part, I like to focus on my adventures, friends, experiences and the rest of life in general. After all, those are huge parts of my world and there is only so much you can say about a wonderful relationship before making everyone around you want to puke. Thus, even in my day-to-day life I really don’t talk about my husband with others too much. When friends make comments on how cute we are or how great we are together, I probably tend to quickly agree, maybe blush a little and then change the subject. There’s no need to ramble on and on about what most already know: Robby is–without a doubt–a lovable, amazing person and an incredible husband. (He kind of has to be to put up with me. It’s a prerequisite.)

That being said, every once in a while I really do just have to gush, if only just a little. Because he is wonderful, and I very rarely give him enough credit for that. I forget that this world is made up of billions of douche-bags, and that I did not get one of them. Not even close. I got Robby. Robby, who is patient and understanding and calm when I’m frantic. Who allows me to over-analyze everything out loud and doesn’t mind that I’m insane. Who loves educating me on the simple things in life, such as Star Wars and Back to the Future marathons and cheap Mexican food. Who simply chuckles and looks at me with love-filled eyes when I dance obnoxiously or pronounce a word wrong. Who gets up to bring me water when he’s already laying down in bed, just because I don’t feel like going to get it myself. Who will be an amazing daddy one day, and who loves to annoy me every month by saying, “Yay! We’re pregnant!”, even when we both know that we’re definitely not. Who loves my friends, who love him right back. Who is always on my side and never fails to put me first. Who allows me to drag him to things he doesn’t really want to go to, and has a good attitude about it just the same. Who gets excited everytime he sees a deer. Who is always happy and rarely not smiling. Who is selfless and faithful and oh-so-handsome and the best listener I know. Who constantly is able to surprise me, in a good way. The other day he made homemade butterscotch cookies. They tasted like those Great American Cookies you can buy at the mall. Among everything else, the dude can bake. Apparently he learned from home-ec in high-school. Just when I think he can’t get any better, or that our relationship is at it’s best, he proves me wrong. He always gets better. And we always get better together.

To top it all off and for reasons that sometimes surpass my understanding (I mean, the guy knows everything about me…), he seems to think I’m pretty great too. The other day I received a typed love note that was just too sweet not to share. I did make sure I had husband’s permission before I showed y’all though. As it is a little sappy, I was relieved that it only took asking him, “Pleaseeeee?” a few times.

“Dear Christina,

A few of the many reasons I love you.

You have dinner ready for me after work.

You do Christmas shopping for my family on the most hectic day.

You do all those things around the house. Clean laundry and much more.

You keep me from being a total hermit.

You love our dogs as much as I do.

You go out and help make money for us.

You are a very determined person and an achiever.

You’re my light in the darkness.

There could never be words strong enough to express how much I love you. You’re my everything. I love you so much,baby.”

If it’s not clear yet, we maybe like each other a little bit.

As a side note, husband really isn’t much of a writer. He actually kind of hates it. So the fact that he typed this up was a heart-melter all in itself, though I couldn’t help but giggle about the “light in the darkness” bit. I was also pretty proud of him for how great his grammar was. I didn’t have to make any punctuation or spelling changes when typing it up, and only had to capitalize a few things. Props to him! (And me, for the English lessons I’ve given him over the years. Hee.)

Frienbs?

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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Lookit all my  goodies, y’all. An adorable little bracelet from the four year old dude I nanny. A nice bottle of sparkling moscato from his parents. Lotion, cookies (that melt in my mouth, I must add)  and a Target gift-card from my lovely Katie. Leftover cupcakes from Sunday’s festivities. 18 white roses from my hubby dude. And all this before it was even Christmas week! I think I might be kinda spoiled. Not just by presents but also by the presence of so many wonderful peeps I have around me. Since my Christmas break started, I’ve been able to bask in all of the happiness and joy my loved ones and other people in general bring to my life. To further explain,  here’s an outline of my past few days:

Thursday night:

I was studying for my last final when I got a text from my best girlfriend asking if she could come over for a bit. Well,duh. We tested out her mom’s Christmas gift, watched a marathon of The Biggest Loser and she asked me how to make meatballs.  I don’t think I’ve ever taught anyone how to cook anything before, so the fact that she trusted me even on one of the easiest of recipes is still quite a big deal. We also decided we should have weekly get together’s involving marathons of The Biggest Loser. It felt pretty perfect doing absolutely nothing with my best friend.

Friday afternoon:

I went to my friend Emily’s, and she had homemade baked macaroni and cheese waiting for me. (See? Spoiled.) She also let me delve into her scrap booking supplies, and we were both tickled at how horrible I was at being crafty. Below, you can probably see where some of our giggle fits came from:

If you’re still confused by my air-headed ways, I was attempting to spell “friends.” The stamps confused me, so it came out, “Frienbs.”

Friday evening:

Husband brought home my beautiful roses and we had a date night at the most delicious hole-in-the-wall restaurant. I’m usually not a fan of Mexican food, but Jardin Corona is on par with Italian and sushi for me. This is a big deal.

Friday night:

Tessa and I decided last minute to go to my friend Becca’s Christmas party.  I’m so glad we did. The whole night,or what I recall of it, was a blast. Highlights:

  • Being lost in the parking lot for 30 minutes with Tessa. We were cold and jogging around awkwardly and climbing on gates and cracking up laughing and, as always, having a blast together.
  • Becca, who was tipsy when we  arrived, introducing me to everyone as, “This is Christina. She’s lost 30 pounds.” Later on in the night, Becca and a friend of hers were talking about another girl who got jealous easily. Becca responded with something along the lines of, “That’s stupid.  I go places with Christina and she knows everyone, and that doesn’t make me mad.” Ha. Despite our many happy hours, I rarely see this girl intoxicated. It was fun.
  • Some random dude hitting on me by telling me I was too young to be married and that I should instead be with him. When I rejected him, he told me I could inform my husband that he had a good girl. Basically he was telling me that anyone who had the will-power to reject him was obviously a keeper. I found this more amusing than annoying. Douche bags are entertaining.
  • Cynthia, who I’ve met once before, telling me I looked like I weighed 100 pounds. I do not weigh 100 pounds. But I still thoroughly enjoyed the compliment.
  • Meeting new,exciting, fun people who made me laugh hysterically all night.
  • Being surrounded by a couple of the ladies who I love the most in this world.

 Saturday night:

This past summer, I went out on a whim and posted an ad on craiglist looking for a nannying job. The family I found turned out to be so much more amazing than I ever hoped for, and they’ve turned into much more than just a summer nanny job. They feel more like family to me now. I’m visiting them this week and the plan is to nanny for them again this summer. (Because I have another permanent job right now, I’m going to speak to both mommies and attempt to combine the two. Five kids+One me= Taking on a new adventure?) In the meantime, Gwen and her family have definitely helped open doors for convenient, heart-warming and fun part-time jobs. I was hired for my current job because of Gwen talking me up on the phone for over half an hour. Saturday night, I babysat for a 6 month old little dude who is the son of one of Gwen’s friends. This is the same night that both ladies were at a work Christmas party. When I got home from babysitting, I was tickled to have received these new comments on facebook:

The frequent babysitter card deal actually isn’t such a bad idea….

Sunday night:

Shannon hosted a small tacky-Christmas sweater party at my house. A few friends and family members came over and enjoyed a game of perverted Apples to Apples, alcoholic eggnog, ugly clothes and lots of laughs and holiday cheerfulness. As excited as I am for the new year and all of the opportunities and adventures I already see in store, I am definitely soaking up the rest of an already amazing 2011. This partly means enjoying the heck out of all of this/these happiness, food, festivities, excitement, adventures, fun and frienbs. Er….I mean friends.

The Best Kinds of Study Breaks

Posted on by Christina Does It All
16

My weekend revolved mostly around studying. And papers. And projects. And more studying. Luckily, I was able to work some refreshing and wonderful breaks into the mix, involving people I love, food, fun, and Christmas festivities. Thanks to these things, I’m feeling rejuvenated and ready for the madness now. Bring the next two weeks on. I got this.

My study breaks:

Friday:

Husband and I were startled by an obnoxiously loud knock on the door Friday around 10:30 pm. Who obnoxiously bangs on doors past 10pm without at least making plans to do so first? Rude! I should have figured then that it would be some dude in my life. (The last time this happened it was my best guy friend, surprising me by coming over to apologize for something around midnight. The boys in my world seem to like making unnecessarily big gestures.) Husband looks through the peep hole (I instructed him to do so, just in case a serial killer was on the run or something.) and I think we were both equally taken aback when he announced, “It’s your brother.”  My reaction was an honestly and completely surprised, “Really?!?!”  Brother and I hadn’t been speaking for about a month. Well, he hadn’t been speaking to me. To make a really long story super short, we were both put in the middle of some familial issues when we shouldn’t have been. It just put us in a bad place. I had been bugging him for a while to just talk to me, but eventually gave up and let him be. I figured he would come around when he was ready. This is another characteristic of the most important boys in my world. Still. I missed him. He’s one of my best friends, and I think I almost cried seeing that silly kid show up with that dumb grin on his face. We gave each other a big hug before he left, and I felt a little broken piece of me mend back together again. Siblings may drive you crazy and forgiveness may be hard, but they are more than worth the insanity and the pride you sometimes have to swallow.

Saturday:

Saturday night, husband, my lovely friend Katie and myself headed to our friend Deesh’s place. Other buddies were already there to greet us when we arrived. There was also moonshine and homemade beer waiting. Deesh got drunk for the first time in all of the years that I’ve known him. I believe we got home that night after 5 in the morning. What I’m saying is, it was exactly the good time I was needing after a full day of studying. Pictures do this night more justice than I can with words.

The next morning: 

Sunday:

This cold weather is making it really feel like the holiday season. Drowning in homework or not, this puts me in a super cheerful mood. Husband and I purchased a Christmas tree, which we plan on decorating tonight. (My study break for Monday! Hot chocolate will be included.) Later, I began my baking and cooking projects for the day. I’ve recently come to love cooking. I find it therapeutic and fun to create something and then eat it. This was bound to happen someday, as my whole immediate family loves to either cook or bake. I just thought maybe the gene skipped me.Thankfully, it didn’t. I’ve actually gotten pretty good at this whole making food thing lately. Almost all of what I make is edible now. Sunday may have been my most scrumptiously edible cooking day yet. After browsing the web for recipes, I decided on Honey and Pecan glazed pork-chops for dinner and Nutella Cheesecake for dessert. Before yesterday, I had never ever tried Nutella. I always thought sticky chocolate found in the peanut butter aisle would be rather gross. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more wrong about anything in my entire life. I wanted to eat the whole thing straight out of the can. But I managed to leave enough to make the cheesecake. Oh my goodness. SEX cheesecake. This should be the name. And the honey-pecan glazed pork-chops? Orgasmic pork. I’ve never made two recipes that tasted so decadently wonderful or that I was so proud of. And they were surprisingly easy to make! Also, husband loved them both. I don’t know why I ever hated cooking.

After dinner, husband and I were getting warm and cozy on the couch while watching a little tv.  I decided to play one of my little games with him. This one is self-entitled the, “Would-you-rather-do-this-or-leave-me-if-you-had-to-pick-game.” It’s fun. I ask him something completely outlandish, strange or ridiculous that he would absolutely never want to do, and then end my scenario with something like, “So would you rather do that or leave me and not have to do it…. if you had to pick no matter what?” Last night I gave him an especially crazy scene. He thought for only a second and then replied matter-of-factly with, “Yeah. I’d do it.” I was shocked. “Really?! But…that’s crazy!” He replied with, “Baby, you should know by now that there’s not much I wouldn’t do for you.”  This is something I know. He usually shows me with actions more than he does with words, so hearing it out loud still stunned me a little bit. Because it’s so true. He’s just so different. It’s not some gimmick he uses to get laid, or meaningless words used out of the giddiness of a new relationship, or something used to impress anyone else. This is just Robby. It’s who he is. It’s how he loves. It’s how much he loves me. I take this for granted. Having this man who loves me so completely that he would honestly cross the world and back just to see me happy. Hearing it out loud reminded me not to take something so rare and special for granted. To appreciate it, and him, with my whole heart. And I do. Goodness gracious I am a lucky, happy girl.

My study breaks are the best. They leave me feeling loved, blessed, content and ready to kick ass on these upcoming finals.

No Shame November- Baby Steps.

Posted on by Christina Does It All
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My best friend posted the above on my facebook wall a few weeks ago. She is a great best friend and is always subtly pushing me to truly express myself, as she knows how hard this is for me to do. I immediately started working on this project, as I knew it would be a pretty difficult one for me to accomplish. Now it’s the last day of November and I’m still not finished. I had a whole heartfelt, emotional blog written only to realize I’m not that ready yet. Guys, I suck at being open and honest about my emotions. When it comes to taking chances and being brave, I can do just about anything–As long as it doesn’t involve letting people know what’s going on in the deepest parts of my heart and junk. That’s scary shit. So I scratched the first idea and am now giving you bullet points of things I normally don’t admit to people. Baby steps.

  • I know why I’m like this. I was taught through actions (and sometimes words) growing up that my feeling or showing emotions was (and still is) wrong, or stupid or bad or shameful. I’m slowly starting to realize that this is a load of crap. I like feeling things. And once I learn how, I’ll probably like expressing them too.
  • I use ridiculous amounts of defense mechanisms.
  • My feet sometimes get really gross and stinky.
  • I often have an unhealthy amount of determination/motivation. I’ve learned the hard way that always getting what you want is not always the best thing for you.
  • Karma scares me. I didn’t exactly make the best or most selfless choices as a teenager, and I often freak myself out wondering if, when, or how those things will come back to haunt me/bite me in the ass.
  • In the past year or so, I have started to vocally forgive and apologize way too easily. I often take on guilt for things that I shouldn’t. I’m beginning to realize that this guilty personality has actually served in protecting me from experiencing any other kind of uncomfortable emotion. If I’m always blaming myself, I’ll never have to admit that anyone else has ever hurt me. 
  • I have a good amount of stored up pain from the past that has never really been acknowledged. For the most part, it’s actually been completely dismissed. I’ve ignored it up until this point, and now that it’s surfacing, I realize that I’m pretty hurt. I’m hurt and I’m frustrated because I’ve been told my my pain doesn’t really matter. And it does. It does matter, and damnit, it is worth acknowledging. I’m allowing myself to feel a healthy amount of anger and sadness for the first time in a long time, and that actually feels really great.
  • The other night I was startled awake, and I somehow convinced myself that one of my best girl friends had died. (Tessa, I’m so glad you’re alive….) I think it might have been residue fear from a nightmare. I may have almost had a panic attack. I don’t like admitting that I’m dependent on anyone, but I would have such a hard time functioning without my amazing support system.
  • I’m learning now that momentarily removing myself from someone’s life doesn’t mean that I’m being heartless or cold. Occasionally, when someone is so far gone, walking away is the only way change will ever come. Sometimes it’s the only way to love them.
  •  On occasion, I would just like to shake certain people/loved ones and tell them that there are much better things to do than being mad and stubborn and holding grudges all of the time. Like being happy and forgiving and living life without the burden of resentments.
  • I cried in my Intro to Counseling class a couple of weeks ago. I rarely even cry in front of my closest friends, and I cried in front of my entire class. A marriage counselor came into speak, and he touched on a lot of subjects I personally dealt with growing up. When I started to ask him a question, I broke down mid-sentence.  It felt embarrassing and humbling and terrifying and freeing and exhilarating. It showed me that I am truly and finally making progress in becoming more honest with myself and with others.
  • It’s still baby steps, but it is something.